Business Humor by Ted Goff
A new cartoon can be seen here daily!
Ted has been online since 1994 (with various BBSes then) and launched his current web site in April of 1996. He is a member of the National Cartoonists Society, and hosts the NCS web bulletin board.Ted's cartoons are available for use in newsletters and other publications, or for lectures and presentations and appears here with his permission.
Click on the cartoon for Ted's web site or contact him:
PO Box 22679
Kansas City, MO 64113 USA.
Sunil Bali shared these on his excellent blog site:
Law of Mechanical Repair – After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you’ll have to pee.
Law of Gravity – Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
Law of Probability -The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
Law of Random Numbers – If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers.
Law of the Alibi – If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tyre, the very next morning you will have a flat tyre.
Variation Law – If you change queues or traffic lanes, the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now.
Law of the Bath – When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.
Law of Close Encounters -The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don’t want to be seen with.
Law of the Result – When you try to prove to someone that a machine won’t work, it will.
Law of bio mechanics – The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
Law of the Concert, Theatre & Sports Arena – At any event, the people whose seats are farthest from the aisle, always arrive last. They are the ones who will leave their seats several times to go for food, beer, or the toilet and who leave early before the end of the performance or the game. The folks in the aisle seats come early, never move once, have long gangly legs or big bellies, and stay to the bitter end of the performance. The aisle people also are very surly folk.
The Coffee Law – As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
Murphy’s Law of Lockers – If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.
Law of Physical Surfaces – The chances of an open-faced jam sandwich landing face down on a floor, are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet or rug.
Law of Logical Argument – Anything is possible if you don’t know what you are talking about.
Brown’s Law of Physical Appearance – If the clothes fit, they’re ugly.
Oliver’s Law of Public Speaking – A closed mouth gathers no feet.
Wilson’s Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy -As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.
Doctors’ Law – If you don’t feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you’ll feel better. But don’t make an appointment, and you’ll stay sick.
One of my favorite business stories is about the young woman who had just opened her new flower shop for business and got her first two orders mixed up. To the funeral she sent the one with the card that read, "Congratulations On Your New Position!" and to the newly promoted executive she sent, "Our Deepest Sympathy."
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